Lately I've been feeling disconnected from who I am as an artist, and from all of the things that I've tried to do creatively over the last few months. Be it with photographs or paintings, sketches or seamstressing, I have never felt further away from my creative flare.
After thinking about it for a while, I realized that a lot of that came down to two things. One was that I'd been focusing all of my effort on seeing other people's visions through, and I was suppressing a lot of self expression for the sake of someone else's ideas. The second was that I'd (in turn) been relying on other people to help me see my visions through, be it the photographer who takes my image, or the designer who sews my dress, or the camera man who makes my videos.
I haven't relied solely on myself in so long that doing so made me terrified. I'd lost all confidence and all security that I was capable of completing a project on my own, without the help of other people.
After dwelling on this for weeks, I finally snapped. I raced home from work yesterday, threw on some clothes, blush, and a wig, and darted into the woods before the sun fell. Armed with nothing but a tripod, an iPhone, and a shutter application, I was able to complete my first ever artistic self-portrait. I am rather proud of the outcome, and even more proud of the freeing feeling they give me whenever I look at them.
Sometimes you just need a reminder that you CAN in fact do something.