Picking Up Your Feet.

 

I'd like to apologize for the exceptionally grainy images for this post. I had decided to bring my new camera to the farm to document May and I, and the settings were never adjusted to the arena's light, or to May's movement. I'm working on getting a photographer to come out and take images specifically for the blog, but these will have to work for now. 

 

 

Anyway, onto the training session! Mandy was kind enough to pull May from the pasture and place her in a stall until I could get out of work. Once I was there, I guided May around the arena for a few minutes, walking a relaxed path and exercising some basic commands until we came to a complete stop. I was touching her all over, running my hands over her feet and lifting them a little (which I've done every time I'm around her) when she decided to bite the top of my head. Mandy took that as a good indicator that we should start working on getting May comfortable with letting someone lift up her feet.

 

Now, it is incredibly important that horses learn not only this but to also learn to be comfortable standing on 3 legs at a time. Farriers need to tend to horses hooves, vets need to be able to work on an injury, and an owner needs to be able to pick up the foot of a calm horse to see if there's a need for a vet or farrier in the first place. May hasn't had much success with the farrier in the past, so it was time to finally nip this uneasiness in the bud.

 

 

We chose to use a lead rope to pick up her feet so that it was less dangerous to us, and began just by gently rubbing the rope against her legs. Once she was relaxed and accepting of the rope, Mandy then put it around the back of each leg, one at a time, until she was comfortable with that, too. She was less than happy to comply with this, and she paced in circles while we made ourselves pivots and slowed her down with "woah" commands.



It's at this point that I feel like it should be said that I am still terrified of May. My trust in her has grown exponentially, but I still question everything that I do and everything that she could do, and that uneasiness spurs a lot of hiccups in her attitude to happen. Every time I'm with her, I see how much improvement she's made with being handled, and being well mannered, and it makes me feel instantly better. Still, I dwell on previous experiences and I put expectations out there when we're together that something bad is going to happen. Those things make her great improvements seem like tiny little spurts of luck to me, instead of the moved mountains and huge victories that they actually are.

This fear is really prohibiting me from becoming a strong leader and companion to May, and I realize that every time that we're together. Since Mandy and I have talked at length about this (and she knows the signs of me panicking), she will often switch from teaching May something, to teaching me instead.

Now, I have a fear of standing in front of May to get her to stop when she won't stop otherwise. It's not that she's ever hurt me when we've worked together, or that she's temperamental when I'm standing there, but I still get excessively nervous. Often when I throw my hands out and shout a booming 'WOAH', I'm shaking. Being that this is something that I need to work through, Mandy makes it a point to consistently teach me how to confidently stop any horse that might be moving towards me. It always takes a few dozen tries to get over my nerves, but I eventually get there. By mid-session I was throwing my hands out to stop her, and my hands were as still as ever.

The other form of stopping May is using the 'traffic sign'. This makes me equally as nervous, but again, by the time we had reached mid-session I was doing it and May was listening.

Now, I'm going to make another post about this that goes more into detail, but I have learned to back May up with just my finger. Mandy reminded me to use this in addition to the other methods if May is trying to walk into me. Every time she listens to this command and backs up, I nearly fall over in pride and excitement. I cannot believe, even for a second, that we mastered this trick.

Anyway, after about 30 minutes of getting May used to the lead rope on her legs, Mandy and I were finally able to lift up each of her legs, one by one. She fought it a little, as any horse would at first, and then she slowly started to get used to one of her legs being off of the ground. She did so well that we didn't push her to do anything else, and just enjoyed the moment of victory.

After our training session, we walked May into an open stall and Dan and I spent a chunk of time grooming her. I was so grateful to have him at the farm to witness a training session in person, and to allow him some time to get to know May a bit more. He hadn't been to the farm since I first adopted her, and seeing them together made me extremely happy.

 



Cue awkward half-family photo!







Lazy May

Yvonne was kind enough to post a handful of images of May out in the field today, and within minutes I had saved them, shared them, and commented on them a dozen times over. Yvonne's got such an eye for capturing horses, and they trust her completely. Here are the images of May being lazy on this absolutely beautiful day. Thanks again, Yvonne!

They had brought grooming kits for kids to come out during their session and brush the babies. May didn't want to get up!

She's slowly getting sleepy...

She's starting to doze off... 

Annd she's out.

^--- LOOK AT THAT SLEEPING FACE! 

Adventures in May-therhood

Today was an exceptionally trying day for May and I. I hadn't been able to make it out to the farm for the entire week, so I planned on having the majority of today set aside to devote to her. Our normal routine has been for me to come out, chase her around her pasture, attach her halter and lead rope and then work on training her with them. Jessica, a volunteer (who I completely adore and couldn't do any of this without), usually helps me lead her to the indoor arena, where we also work on herd separation, grooming, bonding, and more lead training. It needs to be said now that I am not familiar with horses, especially foals, so the training is mostly comprised of whatever I think might be best for her to learn. Everything is sort of on the fly with her, as we're both beginners.

Anyway, as I made my way onto the pasture today with Jessica to continue our routine, May decided it was the day to be a perfect angel. She didn't move when I approached her, or while she was grazing. She let us put on her new blanket, and she let me groom her without any movement or motion, or resistance, or anything. She played it cool while I hugged on her, and snuggled her, and baby-talked her, never moving away, or putting up much of a fight. It was crazy. Like, I didn't know if she was sick, or if she was just happy to see us, or if she just really didn't care about whatever we were doing to her. So what I initially thought would take us two hours to do, took maybe 30 minutes, and before I knew it I was making my way out of the pasture to work on the farm for a while before coming back to get her.

We worked on fixing broken fences in the pastures and paddocks for a while before finally going back to grab May. I had a gut feeling that she was acting too good to be true, but she surprised me when she leisurely walked on lead from the back pasture to the barn, only needing to be nudged from Jessica here and there. It was when we got to the barn though that May started to act up, resisting us with heavy thrashing, pushing, and jumping, which was terrifying to watch. There was nothing that we could do to ease her down from her panic attack, and every foot forward was met with a retaliation. At one point we had four people trying to control her, and when it became clear that she was on the verge of hurting herself, we decided to take a time out. We stayed where she wanted to stay and gathered around her, petting her into a calm.

At that point, I realized that I was scared of her. I had no idea how to react to her movement or her attitude, I had no idea how to control her, and I had no idea how to move her in either direction, be it to the pasture or to the arena. I was so worried that she'd hurt herself, or one of us. The resulting feeling of total failure sunk in, and I started to doubt everything. I couldn't do this, I thought. I am not able to do this.

It was then that I looked over at May, who was panting frantically with wide, scared eyes, and I snapped back into reality. I could do this because I WANTED to do this. I WANTED to be a part of her experiences, good or bad, and I wanted to be the one who made her feel safe. Made her feel easy, and calm. This moment, this temper-tantrum (or any other temper tantrum) wasn't going to throw me off and scare me away. I could do this. I was willing.

























I got up enough courage to try it again. With a little smooth talking we were able to slowly bring her into the arena. I decided to let her run around and get all of her many frustrations out. She yelled as loudly as she could and she threw her fantastically dusty fit. She ran at me and headbutted me (smacking both Jessica and I in the head), and then she yelled some more. I stayed with my commitment, and took her headbutts and her tantrums, and I waited them out. After a lengthy amount of time later, she slowly started to wind down enough to where I could put my arm around her for hugs, which calmed her down even more.

And then magic happened. Despite being dangerously upset with me twenty minutes beforehand, May decided she loved me again. She let me groom her without being held in place, and without moving an inch for almost half an hour. She nuzzled her head into my brush. She turned her head to lick my hand as I brushed her sides. She leaned her body into mine for support. She posed for the camera and accepted kisses on her nose like she was never mad at me for a second. It was just incredible.She followed on lead like a champ, and she got the point where she was walking me in circles instead of the other way around. As the sun shone in and the breeze swept through, I looked over again at May who was calm and content, and I felt whole.

There might be those moments where I feel lost and over my head in this, but those other moments, the ones where she is so totally mine, surpass everything else. They make the tough, scary moments and the glimpses of doubt go away. She is a living, breathing reminder that every second of work that goes into her will be worth it. She is so totally worth it.

If it weren't for all of the incredible, helpful people at the farm, I wouldn't have the confidence I have with May. They make such an effort to be as involved as I need them to be, and they help me on a level that I can never express enough thanks for. Without them, this journey wouldn't be as sweet or rewarding as it is right now.

Until next time.

Adopting May.

March has been such an interesting month so far, and the roller coaster of every week has made it difficult to find the energy for posts on the blog. There are days where I don't even want to touch a computer, be present online, or know/share anything about what's going on in life on the web. I guess you can say that giving up Facebook was the catalyst, as it's bled into nearly everything I do on the internet. Do you ever get that way, too?

Since unplugging my attention from my phone and computer, I've been accomplishing a lot of little things that usually get overlooked. Like remodeling the apartment, gardening for spring, reading nearly a book every three days, and writing letters to loved ones. It's also pushed me to be outside more, away from the noise of people's posts and complaints, or general banter. I've begun paying attention to my surroundings again, and have been finding beautiful things tucked away everywhere that I stop to look. It's crazy what a little time away will do for your perspective!

At any rate, a week ago I decided that (with bronchitis) I would take some time to visit a new friend at a ranch in Grove City where her horse is boarded. As a lover of any animal on the planet, I jumped at the chance to spend a day petting, feeding, and meeting dozens upon dozens of horses and ponies. My friend Hannah took time introducing me to each horse, telling me their back-story and how they came to be on the ranch, which is primarily used as an Equine Assisted Psychotherapy (EAP) and Equine Assisted Learning (EAL) facility. They use their therapy horses to work directly with autistic children, children and adults with disabilities, and others who are disadvantaged. The entire program blew me away, and as I handled more horses and listened to what all they've been able to do for others, I decided that I'd submit an application for volunteering over the spring and summer months. It was decided then that I'd also make a donation to the program, and as I was discussing everything with Hannah, she took me on the very last part of the tour: The pasture of rescued foals.

(May, Rocket and Matilda last year, courtesy of Equine Partners)

Last year, Mandy, the manager of the farm, had learned of a newborn foal that needed to be rescued from a Nurse Mare Farm, where an infant foal was being put up for slaughter via a hammer to the head. The horse was less than 6 hours old when it was taken from it's mother and left alone. The horse had very little chance or time to survive, and Mandy knew she had to react quickly to save the horse from a tortured end. She raced to Kentucky to adopt the horse, and found that there were two other newborns that were also being set up for slaughter. She put her money together and managed to rescue three foals and an older horse, and took them back to Columbus to give them a new life.

(May and Rocket last year, courtesy of Equine Partners)

As we walked into the pasture of babies, and I was being told about their rescue and everything that had been done for them, one of the yearlings turned towards us and walked straight up to me. Her name was May.

May is (and will likely always be) the pride and joy of so many at the farm. Mandy had essentially hand raised May in a fight for her survival, feeding her herself, ensuring her health at all cost, and providing her with more love and compassion than can be explained. I think that anyone that meets May automatically feels the love that Mandy had given her, and all of that affection has turned into May's general character.


























May spent the entire time that we were in her pasture following Hannah and I everywhere. She tugged on my coat and boots for attention, she put her head under my arm for hugs, and she nuzzled her face into my chest, back and side to make sure I knew that she was there. She rolled around in front of us, she licked my face, and posed for pictures with my iPhone. I'd never, ever seen or been around a horse that acted the way that she had, and being rather ignorant about horses, I didn't think it was a big deal. Apparently, I was wrong. Nearly every single person who has seen May and I together, or have heard the story of our encounter have all said the same thing; May had chosen me to be hers.

The Sunday that I met May was a day that completely changed my life. Once I'd left the farm I started thinking about her and the other foals, and all that the farm has done for them. Being a non-profit organization that runs on donations and volunteers, it's taken a financial toll to provide for four rescues. It was then that I realized that I could do more than just volunteer and donate money to the foundation. I could provide for May.

I contacted Hannah and Mandy for several days thereafter, obsessively offering to bring by anything that May might need for whatever reason, and assessed my finances in detail to make sure it was possible to do so. I hadn't even thought about adopting her outright until I sat down and talked to Mandy about what I wanted out of this, which was to be a provider who was present in her life regularly, for as long as I possibly could be. Out of all of my options, adopting her as my own fit with what I wanted long term for her. I filled out the paperwork, submitted them for approval, and started altering my life and daily routine to accommodate the time I'd need to bond with May.

(May last year, courtesy of Equine Partners)

It's a very fortunate circumstance when it comes to her overall adoption. I have no intention of removing her from her daily life at the farm, or to segway away from her becoming a registered therapy horse when she gets older. So, her life will only be changed by my incessant visitations, grooming, training, and any additional love that I can give her, and her care is at such a low cost that it doesn't affect my lifestyle at all. I won't have to worry about where to keep her, or if she'll be treated well, and I don't have to separate her from her surrogate family of horses and humans. All in all, it really is a win-win situation. 

I have accepted the fact that May will be in my life for the next 20-30 years, and that she is a lifetime commitment. The more and more I've thought about it, the more and more I get excited, and the more I feel content about my decision. From her 'terrible twos' phase, to her being trained to ride, to her as a very old lady- it feels like an incredible journey that I just don't want to miss. 

So, expect lots and lots of updates on our journey together, and all of the lessons I've learned in the process of being a first time horse owner. In all of my research of raising a yearling, I feel pretty confident that there will be a bevvy of things to share, both in my relationship with myself (hello, learning extreme patience!), and with my relationship with May overall. I look forward to sharing our continuing story, and about hearing stories of other's adoptions, too!

For more information on Equine Partners Unlimited, and to get involved in their program, please visit their website here, and like them on Facebook! For information on Nurse-Mare Farms, you can visit these informative sites here, and here.